Men's 2s
Sat 14 Oct 2023
Tornados Hockey Club
Men's 2s
Sikhs Sports Club
A resounding victory is not quite enough

A resounding victory is not quite enough

William Woolsey-Brown16 Oct 2023 - 09:03
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Sikh's seek a win, but see RED

Mainly written by Sailan Ayob, but we're not sure he was actually watching..

Pre-game shenanigans began with Hari committing a classic wardrobe malfunction, donning the wrong white jersey, and forcing the Tornados to play in red to avoid a fine. A fashion faux pas to remember, followed swiftly with the beer monkeys trying to fill the SCC esky with our post game beers... what are you doing lads!!??

Early in the first half, it's worth pointing out the Sikhs had no 'keeper, Will C. scored from a penalty corner, the second one of the match, having decided to be NICE and just roll the first one at the 5 defenders in the goal.. After enduring significant stick from the bench, he launched the second one at head height and Tornados were 1 to the good.

Then came the unforgettable moment of the game, when Salan, in a bizarre twist of fate, decided to pass off on an open goal, earning him the prestigious title of "Dick of the Day." A decision he'll likely regret for life. With only errrrr.. literally no-one to beat, he managed to not only not pass to any of the 3 forwards around him, who, errr.. also had NO-ONE to beat, but managed somehow to pass it to err.. no-one, but not the no-one in the goal, the no-one off the back line.... WOW.

Toby also missed a horror of a gaping goal, but managed a simple tap-in to make it 2-0, making it clear that simplicity was the way forward.

Despite their lead, the Tornados' defence had its fair share of misadventures, allowing Sikhs to sneak one in over Ben's shoulder, much to their chagrin. The half time score stood at 3-1, with one of the following scoring the 3rd.. Josh (most likely), Toby, Petty. Who knows... but don’t think it was Petty either..

Despite a 3-1 scoreline, the first half was an absolute disaster, prompting a roaring halftime scream from the self-proclaimed dictator, WWB. His halftime speech would have made even Churchill proud.

As the second half began, the Tornados took up the challenge to score more goals. 6 in the half was the request.. Josh, looking like a one-man wrecking crew, relentlessly ripped through the opponent's defence and throughout the second half landed four balls in the net, earning him the well-deserved title of "Man of the Match." Ahh Toby must have scored 2 in the first half.

But the hilarity wasn't over yet. Paul, running from right back, scored a goal! Discussion post match noted it was a moment that should, and will, define his hockey career for ever.. Think he played it backwards through his legs too.. Now you are just taking the Michael...

And to put the icing on the cake, Petty managed to squeeze in a goal with what was one of our best worked goals all season, working down the left with smart interplay, ending in some excellent and very unselfish play in the Sikh's D for him to slot home easily from a yard.

However, the Tornados, annoyingly for all, briefly caught some Z's, allowing Sikhs to grab another goal with the last hit of the game via a penalty corner. That was annoying.

The match ended with a final score of 9-2, and it was clear that this field hockey showdown was more about comedy than competition. The Tornados may have won the game, but the real winners were anyone fortunate enough to witness this sidesplitting spectacle. Now our fate for the colour of the medal hangs on the hands of the Dutch! Will we go home in Gold or the dreadful Silver? ‎

Ed - Unfortunately, the Dutch were unable to do the necessary for Tornados, and using the words of Harry, who we sent up to see what was going on, 'Jansenites scored 5 while I was up there', so we knew a league title was not going to be ours. A great season again this year, finishing a creditable 2nd in what was a noticeably stronger league than last year.

Match details

Match date

Sat 14 Oct 2023


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